In The Flow - Journal Entry 1
It's been a long, tiring day. I pull out of the parking lot with my red faced boys in the backseat. The temperature gauge reads 111 degrees. I just want to get home.
Out of nowhere, my favorite song comes on and I feel my chest and shoulders relax. The corners of my lips turn upward into a smile. "Ahhh, I love this song," I say to the boys. Wyatt nods and looks dreamily out the window. Jaxson begins to suck his thumb and close his eyes. A peace settles over the car.
As I sing along, I start to notice a rhythmic drumming coming from the back seat. I look in the rear view mirror and see Jaxson, one bare hand on one knee, keeping the beat. The music builds, and he begins to improvise and create his own music layered over the original. And, it sounds good. In perfect time, and it comes so naturally to him. He's just letting it flow.
I remember a conversation I had this morning with my coach about how much pressure I put on myself. She asks, "What would it feel like to create something just for no reason? You're not selling anything or teaching on a topic, you're just creatively inspired. What would you make? What would you say?"
It strikes me that I just really want to be in the flow. Doing what comes naturally.
I look back at Jaxson drumming and start to wonder, "What is it I used to do naturally as a child, just for fun?" I know the answer immediately. I was writing, without an end goal. I can remember the feeling it used to bring me- a mixture of warmth and adventure.
I start to fall in love with the idea of making something just for the love of making it. How good does it feel to do something that comes naturally and share it because I can? Maybe someone else will find it helpful, or it will leave a legacy, or maybe it will just show my humanity. Not perfect and edited, but honest.
So, I find myself here. Committed to writing a journal entry every Thursday. I have no real goal, other than stepping into the flow that feels so good. No pressure. Writing just to write.
Join me if you'd like. I'd really love that.